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My neighbor is a victim of violence (11/11)

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Your neighbor is a victim of violence (or a colleague, or even a family member...), she didn't necessarily tell you but you've seen, heard, understood... You would like to do something to help her but you're wondering how.
The first useful thing is to let her know you've understood what's happening and that you are ready to support her. Do it discretely of course... Realize that domestic violence causes shame and guilt in each woman: reassure her, prove your compassion with simplicity. Even if you cannot do anything more concrete because she doesn't want you to (respect her choices even if you don't understand them), what you might say to her will be a great help and might help her to gradually advance toward outside assistance, yours or someone else's.

In this case, some simple words are worth more than a long speech.

If you do start one or several conversations, the best way to listen effectively and really help is to use the technique of reformulation (in French only). Avoid asking direct questions or to seem too inquisitive, don't talk about your personal experiences, your way of seeing things or that of others, satisfy yourself with the information that she is willing to give you ...
Just Because - Nigel


How to help concretely?

First, think that your neighbor might not have access to the Internet (or not easy access ...): you might start simply by printing those pages of this website that you believe will be useful and give them to her (or let her know that you have them available for her), like this page of advice if she is planning to take shelter somewhere, all the pages of this domestic violence section or, perhaps the addresses and phone numbers that you find below.

Then, you can let her know that in case of a trial (assault charges, divorce ...) you are prepared to be a witness (model of a statement for legal testimony).

Of course, in the case of a serious incident for which you are a direct or indirect witness, call the police!


The addresses and the numbers that you should know

 SOS Women's Domestic Violence Hotline (SOS Femme Violence Conjugale) 01.40.33.80.60: qualified listeners give support without judging, inform, and counsel ... The number is not free, it is in Paris, but the people who answer can call you back at a number you give them.
 Women's Rights Information Centers (Les Centres d'Informations aux Droits des Femmes): legal practitioners welcome, inform, counsel and guide. Specialized in the legal fiend, certain CIDF have sometimes developed other competencies (employment aid, support groups). Classed by department, the addresses and information is here.
 Shelters (centres d'hébergement) are meant to welcome anyone in difficulty. The majority receives women as well as men and certain are specialized in receiving women and women victims of violence. Classified by department, the addresses are here.
The free emergency number 115 can be called in case of the need for emergency housing: the correspondent will indicate where to go depending on the department where the request if made.
 In certain departments, associations have developed local reception centers for women victims of violence, sometimes in partnership with a reception and housing center (centre d'accueil et d'hébergement). Classified by department, the addresses are here.
 Family Planning (Le Mouvement du Planning Familial) is well known to the public for its actions in favor of birth control ... but it is also an enormous network of women's rights militants ready to mobilize themselves to assist women in need. Therefore not to be ignored. Classified by departments, the addresses are here.
 Victim's aid associations and services (associations et services d'aide aux victimes) can inform, counsel and guide. Classified by department, the addresses are here. National phone number: 0.810.09.86.09

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