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You
believe it's possible to stay at your home.
Just in case, plan a protection scenario: -
Note important telephone numbers (police, sheriff's office, hotlines of
specialized
associations) and putt hem in an easily accessible place or learn
them by heart.
- Identify
the people who can help you in case of an emergency; examine the potential
safe havens susceptible to assure your security, even keeping your
address secret (depending on the situation, it won't necessarily be the
case of your family or friends) ;
- Agree to a communication code with
someone close, who can alert the police ;
- Inform your children
about what to do when there is a violent situation: take refuge at the
neighbors, leave the house to telephone, call the police;
- Eventually
prepare an "emergency suitcase" and leave it in a safe place
or with someone you trust. Put important papers, some money and some clothes
in it in case of an emergency exit.
- Plan to put copies of important
papers in a safe place (notably with an attorney, at an association, etc.)
such as: diplomas, tax returns, pay slips, notary acts, medical certificates,
etc.
There
are specialized places throughout France that will welcome you (if you leave,
you might need to move far away from your current residence): emergency centers,
specialized housing centers, housing and social rehabilitation center. Find out
about them: web addresses and contacts numbers are available here.
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You ask yourself, you imagine doing it … Prepare
your (possible) departure.
In all cases, it is important to know the steps and the resources
useful in the majority of domestic violence situations: -
Consult a doctor for
your care but also to get a medical certificate attesting to the
assault and specifying the number of days for the total
incapacity to work (ITT) even if you don't have a professional
activity. This document should be kept in a safe place: entrust it to a
friend, an association, a social worker, an attorney … if you can't keep it yourself.
Get as many certificates as necessary … Even if you don't
think or don't wish to use these documents now during a procedure (complaint,
separation, divorce), get them anyway: later, you might regret not having done
it. Do it as a precaution.
- Contact
the police or sheriff's office for a declaration of violence suffered on
the incident report register (registre de main-courante-police), in a witness
statement (procès-verbal de renseignements judiciaries-gendarmerie)
or to file a complaint. If you don't wish to file a complaint,
make a déclaration and carefully note the date and the place of this declaration:
police station (commissariat), sheriff's office (brigade de gendarmerie):
this could be very useful to you later (presumption of proof in preparation for
a subsequent legal recourse).
-
Gather written witness statement (model)
from family members, friends, neighbors, work colleagues, dated, signed, and accompanied
by a photocopy of their ID card. Do NOT wait for a crisis
to get these statements: keep them; they could be useful to you later.
- If necessary, get information
from free legal consultations (town halls, court houses, women's
rights information centers), especially if you are thinking about
divorce or separation.
- Contact specialized
listening places and women's shelters.
- Re-establish personal
rights for family allocations and social security benefits (if you have difficulty
doing this, ask your local social assistant for help).
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Do not stay alone, get help, and prepare
your departure, even if you don't ultimately leave. -
Contact associations
and specialised services: they know the difficulties with which
you are confronted, they will help you to prepare yourself and to prepare
your departure. They will help you to find a safe haven where your address will
remain secret.
- It's
better that your (possible) departure will be prepared as much from
a point of view psychological as well as materiel. Your chance of success will
be greater, and you will be better able to cope with the new conditions of
your life.
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… and faced with the difficulties of this departure, faced with
your husband who you thought could changer, maybe for other reasons, you have
returned home. - Today,
you want to leave again because nothing has finally changed or,
the situation is even worse. Know that associations
and specialised services will not reproach you: they know the terrible
difficulties with which you are confronted; they will help you to prepare yourself
and to prepare your departure, they will help you to find a safe haven where
your address will remain secret.
- This
departure and this "return" are not failures: they are part of
a process in which you are committed and which leads you to do your best
to resolve the situation in which you find yourself.
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